Why I’m Glad I Met a Narcissist

There’s a lot of talk in the news about Narcissism.  Psychologists and psychiatrists are breaking their usual code of not diagnosing people in the public eye without formal assessment and giving their professional opinion that Donald Trump is a narcissist.  And I think he is serving a higher purpose for us.  What he’s doing is not pretty and it’s sure to be a rocky ride but I’m confident that we’ll come out wiser, stronger and more united than ever – as long as we can hold on during the bumpy ride.

My own experience with a narcissist was bumpy to say the least.  For years, the shame of having my mind broken by the narcissist’s games was a dark secret I kept hidden.  I (naively) thought I was the only one who’d ever fallen into those kinds of games and that no-one would ever believe what happened to me if I told them.   To be honest, for years I deeply resented the experience and felt bitter about it.  At the time it happened, a bigger, truer part of me knew that something higher was happening, but my ego wasn’t happy.  After years of learning and practising healing, studying anything and everything to do with the mind, reflecting, journalling to make sense of it, I finally found the missing piece to my peace.  And it was in owning the whole truth of my experience.  In other words, it was in being true to myself.

Born with a Soul Vision

I believe we’re born with a blueprint for our lives and that every life has a soul vision and purpose.  I believe that on a deep, soul level we agree to certain things happening in our lives so that we can learn what love truly is.  I’d like to believe that people who are narcissists and sociopaths have deep soul commitments to play their roles so that others they encounter can learn.  Life is one huge classroom and it’s only by looking back and putting the pieces together that we can see the lessons.  The rest of the time, it’s a matter of trusting that things are always working out for our highest good despite outward appearances.

Getting to Gratitude

What helped me frame my experience positively was opening up to the ideas of life after death and of the soul reincarnating.  I have to admit that the idea of reincarnation did freak me out for a while until I got used to it!   The first past life I experienced in meditation was awful (I was an abused wife in Japan who may have stabbed her abusive husband) but it taught me to go beyond my heavily academic, analytical mind to the deeper layers of the unconscious mind where all the juice happens.

Seeing life as a journey for the soul’s evolution helps to bring equality and meaning to the ups and downs of life.  Equality because we all have the potential to experience any life conditions to help us learn and grow, and meaning because when we can find the love in any situation (and it may well be hidden deep), we have everything and that’s the ultimate healer.

So I’m glad I met a narcissist because if my mind hadn’t been smashed wide open, I would have remained ignorant of these cool perspectives and life would be all the more poor today.  I wouldn’t have the richness of knowing my emotions and the depths of the unconscious mind.  I wouldn’t be able to balance and clear energy.  I wouldn’t be listening to my soul’s call.  I’d be disconnected from my physical body and from my spiritual self.  I’d be living in my head, cut off from the richness of experiencing my whole being.  The chances are that I’d still be searching outside for something to fill the inner lack.

I would love for you to feel more meaning and purpose in all the events of your life too.  Learning is a human superpower and it can transform pain into love and gratitude.

If you’ve experienced narcissism and would like to find more peace through learning too, I’ve developed a programme to help you.  It’s called “Pieces to Peace” and if you click here you’ll get the details.  If it speaks to your heart, do get in touch with me and we can arrange a discovery tool.  My experience happened so I could help you and your experience happened so you could help others too. 

Wishing you truth, love and peace

Jacqui xxx


The Hokey Cokey and ThetaHealing?

A few years ago I saw a sign that said “What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it’s all about?” and didn’t buy it.  I could’ve kicked myself for not grabbing it then.  Then yesterday I was shopping in Lyndhurst and found one.  So this time I nabbed it!

Hokey Cokey

At the end of my last ThetaHealing training, we all did the Hokey Cokey together.  My Inner Child just loves the “Oooooooh, the Hokey Cokey” hand-holding-and-running-into-the-middle bit.

But as many a true word is said in jest, I really do think there’s a valuable message in the song. It’s the idea of putting your whole self in.  ThetaHealing is most definitely a great tool for helping us do that.  From childhood our minds get filled with other people’s ideas of how we should live and with society’s rules about what is and isn’t acceptable.  These form unconscious beliefs that stop us being our whole selves – I’m not good enough, I’m not loveable, there’s something wrong with me – all of these beliefs hold us back from being our whole selves.  By learning ThetaHealing, you learn a tool to dive deep and clear away those limiting beliefs and gradually let our whole selves out.

Inspiring quote from Oprah’s Bold Moves Game

Later after I got home from my shopping trip yesterday, I stayed up late all the while thinking “I really should go to sleep”.  But I had an inner nudge to play an iPhone game I’ve been playing quite a lot recently  – Oprah’s Bold Moves.  (It’s basically Candy Crush with prettier scenes and inspiring quotes!)  I had been stuck on a difficult level for days but last night I completed it and finally unlocked the quote.  As synchronicty would have it, it was about gradually putting your whole self in!!  I’ve included it here as evidence!

Altogether now: “Your put your whole self in, your whole self out, in, out, in, out and shake it all about.  You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around.  That’s what it’s all about!”

I do love it when synchronicity enhances a message you’re playing with!

If you’d like to know more about how ThetaHealing can help you Hokey Cokey up your life, I’ve got more information for you here.  My next course is planned  for the last weekend in February or you can check out the ThetaHealing homepage to find an instructor near you. (I can’t guarantee they’ll end with the Hokey Cokey!)

ThetaHealing Training


Gifts from Narcissism

What’s real and what’s not real?  

On the surface, it seems like an easy question.  At least, it’s an easy question when we’re talking about things you can physically experience with your senses.  But even then, fans of “The Matrix” will know that what we think we can see, touch, taste, hear and smell are all just electrical signals from our nerve cells to our brains.  OK, that’s a really complicated philosophical discussion and well beyond my thinking capabilities!  So for sake of simplicity, let’s just assume that things we can see, touch, taste, hear and smell are real.

But what about more abstract concepts?  How do we know what is real when it comes to more abstract ideas?  I had an encounter with a narcissist that forced me to question what was real and what wasn’t.  I’ll leave the details of the encounter for another time but people that are narcissists and/or sociopaths like to exploit your weaknesses, your insecurities and take you to the edge of sanity.  It’s about power and control.  Perhaps deep down they lack power and control themselves and look out for ways to get it by controlling others.  You might have heard of one mind game that they like to play: gaslighting.  They’ll do something and then swear to you they haven’t, leaving you to question your own sanity.  Being in a place of questioning your own sanity is not pretty at all.  It’s hell.

If I did explain to you now what happened with the narcissist, you’d think I was nuts.  To be honest, I don’t know which parts were my active imagination, which parts were me wanting to see certain things and which parts were things done by the narcissist to confuse and control me.  And I never will.  But I’ve made peace with that because it doesn’t matter what happened then.  What matters is what I do with what I learned and how I can use it to help others.

Is Love Real?

And how do we know love is real?  We can’t measure it or touch it.  But we know it’s nonsense to question whether it’s real.  Right before my encounter with the narcissist, I had felt an upsurge of love.  Colours were brighter, everything was more beautiful and I was glowing.  Many people asked me if I was in love with someone.  I wish then my little mind understood that love doesn’t have to be attached to another person and that is can rise up spontaneously for no reason other than the beauty of being alive.  A quiet voice inside me knew that then.

Perhaps the narcissist was a gift from beyond to clear out all that was blocking me from having more of that experience of being in love with life.  And is that perspective based on reality?  Who on Earth knows for sure?  But I get to choose my perspective and I get to choose what happens in my inner world.

And I choose a perspective that lets me feel more love.

If you’ve had an experience with a narcissist or sociopath, I would love to hear from you.  Whether you’ve already healed or are in the process of doing so, I’d love to hear your story for a book I’m about to write on this topic.  Contact me on jacquimcginn@yahoo.co.uk

Top Books For Getting Clarity On Your Soul’s Vision

Meaning and Clarity

Connecting with your Soul’s Vision is a powerful way to bring more meaning, self-belief and self-confidence into your life.  More than a “big why”, it can give you a “huge why” for the events of your life and the things you love to do.  I’ve created  a workbook of questions to help you unearth your Soul’s Vision.  To receive a free copy,  email me at jacquimcginn(@)yahoo.co.uk (obviously remove the brackets before you email me though!)

Here are the books that have helped me find enormous comfort, meaning and significance in the events of my life.  Enjoy!

Books to inspire you and help you find greater meaning in the events of your life now

  1. The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
  2. The Celestine Prophecy: An Experiential Guide by Carol Adrienne and James Redfield
  3. Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz
  4. Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr Brian Weiss
  5. Soul Coaching: 28 Days To Discover The Real You by Denise Linn
  6. A Walk With A White Bushman by Laurens Van Der Post
  7. Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor E Frankl

Books with techniques to help you greatly shift your mindset and consciousness to allow more of your soul’s wisdom to guide your life each day

  1. ThetaHealing: An Extraordinary Healing Modality by Vianna Stibal
  2. The Tapping Solution:A Revolutionary System For Stress-Free Living by Nick Ortner (also available as a DVD)
  3. Change Your Life In 7 Days by Paul McKenna
  4. Recovery Of Your Inner Child: The Acclaimed Method For Liberating Your Inner Self by Lucia Capacchione
  5. Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw
  6. The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You by Karla McLaren
  7. The Wizdom Within by Dr. Irving Oyle and Susan Jean (out of print but available)

I hope you enjoy them and I’d love to hear how you get on with them.  Remember to send me an email to request your free copy of the”Connect With Your Soul Vision” workbook!  My email is jacquimcginn(@)yahoo.co.uk

Here’s to getting clarity on what’s special and valuable about YOU!

Love Jacqui xxx

The Power of Being Spiritually Seen #unboundvisibility

The Unbound Visibility Challenge

At the moment I’m taking part in Nicola Humber’s Unbound Visibility Challenge.  The intention is get women out and expressing themselves more truly and freely in the world, so that we can be all that we’re meant to be.  Today’s challenge is to write and share a story of a time that changed our lives and put us on the path to where we are now.

First, my mind went to my mental breakdown/spiritual awakening but I realised that’s old news and really not worth raking over again!  Yes, it dramatically shifted my outlook on life but there is a more significant event that has had even more of an influence on the work I do now.

It was either 2007 or 2008 and I had a private psychic reading with a person who had become my spiritual development teacher.  I was living in Japan, and my teacher, Craig Junjulas would come over from Sedona, Arizona to give talks, workshops and readings.  I’d been to a number of talks by him and attended an incredible psychic development course at the foot of Mount Fuji.  But it was the private session with him that REALLY set me on the path I’m on now and helped me to do the work I do.

Held In Sacred Space

If I think about what the difference between the workshops and private sessions was, it was that I felt deeply and spiritually SEEN for the first time.  Being held in a sacred space and deeply seen was one of the most empowering experiences of my life.  I’ll never forget sitting in Starbucks with a latte after the session and just savouring the feeling of KNOWING in every fibre of my being that my life was significant, that I was being guided and helped spiritually and that having blocks, fears and problems was just all part of the path.

Ripples of Wisdom Through Years Afterwards

Craig also gave me one vital piece of advice that stays with me to this day.  He told me that my life was going to have difficult, challenging times but that it was like making a samurai sword.  In order for the metal in the blade to be strong enough and flexible enough to do the job it’s meant to do, it’s put in the fire 10,000 times and folded over each time.  If that’s not done sufficiently, when the sword is put to use the blade will shatter and be of no use at all.

Indeed I have had many rough times since then and each time and I’ve gone deep within myself to find out what it is inside myself that is causing my discomfort and suffering.  At times it’s been painful and at times it’s taken a while, but having done that again and again and again, I have come out stronger, far more flexible and with much more compassion.

So now I have a strong heart that can hold a sure, sacred space for my clients and I can SEE them deeply and spiritually.  Far beyond the ego’s limitations and far beyond any problems, to that magnificent spark of the divine within each of us.

And if I can give my clients a fraction of the self-belief that Craig gave me, I’m doing well.

Soul Coaching Oracle Cards
From Denise Linn’s Soul Coaching Oracle Cards

How Does Money Connect With The Heart?

Money and Healing the Heart
Money and Healing the Heart
What’s on earth has money got to do with the heart?
Surely there’s no heart in money?

 Well, for those of us on the path, our finances are a rich place to explore where we have trapped, unprocessed emotions blocking our natural flow of universal energy (chi/ki/prana).  An important part of spiritual growth and raising our vibration is to open our hearts and heal them so that we can be vessels for unconditional love.  All of those old, unprocessed emotions are like frozen shards of energy that prevent the flow of love and energy in our lives.

Today I’m celebrating some small financial goals.  They are goals that have needed a little attention every week to built up to bigger goals and they’re also goals that have required some heart and soul searching to work on.  The first one is that I’ve finally got my credit card debt from 4 figures to 3 figures.  The other one is that I’ve saved up another £100 to add my emergency fund.

Why are these such emotional goals?

Well because a lot of debt creation and unhealthy spending habits are the result of limiting beliefs and a way of avoiding deeper emotional pain.  Many of us get the message from society that we’re just not enough and if we only had product X or Y or Z, we’d solve our problems and get the love and attention from people that we’re all craving.  The truth is that we don’t need to have or do or be anything to deserve to be loved.  Often our Inner Child is still searching for the unconditional love that our parents couldn’t quite show us.  Even the most well meaning of parents can give us the impression that we’re not quite enough to deserve their full love and attention.  And then our unconscious needs and emotions can be manipulated by those trying to sell their products – and at worst this can create debt as our fragile egos try to draw love to us.

I most certainly created my credit card debt on an ego basis of thinking that there were many things I “needed” to be “enough” in business and to present a certain image that I thought people would want from me.  I do feel some feelings of shame at having created this debt because someone who’s done as much inner work as I have “shouldn’t” have embarrassing debt.  But as I embrace my true path, I see more and more that it’s all about opening the heart as wide as possible and embracing all the rawness and darkness inside so we can heal it and open up to higher and higher levels of love.  My finances might not yet be bringing wealth in terms of money but they are certainly bringing a wealth of healing to my heart, which is bringing  more happiness and joy.

My debt shone a light on areas of my heart and mind that were frozen from past emotions.  My lack of having any savings or an emergency fund were a reflection of my habit of creating excess stress for myself because I somehow decided I didn’t deserve peace and happiness.

My financial freedom mentor has taught me how to get peace of mind from money and get myself out of debt.  As well as opening my heart more, it’s a deep process of creating strong foundations to build huge dreams and visions on.   You can find out more about her and watch an amazing free webinar by her here.

So my financial worries have been a great gift from beyond to open my heart.  If you can relate and are on the path but frustrated with problems that seem to be getting in your way, do contact me for a chat on how I can help you use them to open your heart and connect to your true self more.  I have a very special offer package on for a limited time.

Email jacquimcginn@yahoo.co.uk or call 07794 975304 to find out more and start opening your heart to greater inner peace and joy.


The Magic of Collaborative Thinking

The Magic of Collaborative Thinking (video link)

Something really special happens when minds come together and share ideas, solutions, perspectives and experiences.  So I made a little video explaining why I was so excited creating the list of de-stress activities here.

I truly believe that’s how it’s meant to be.  Each of us sharing our unique perspectives and insights without judgment or criticism expands our collective consciousness so we can align with deeper, greater universal truths.

Wisdom from The Guest House by Rumi

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

  • Rumi

After some recent disappointment and embracing all the thoughts and emotions around it, I am definitely feeling the deep wisdom in these words.

Does the poem resonate for you now?  Or perhaps you can see some past event that was “clearing you out” for better things to come?

Magical Deadlines and Manifesting

It’s funny how until I understood that my goals need to be in alignment with my values, I would always rebel against my own goals. If they didn’t have meaning, I wasn’t interested. When I worked as a sixth form college teacher, I had to create SMART goals with my students – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Bound goals. I always got the reason why they were supposed to be created in this way, but never quite mastered the art of making goals that really worked and always got stuck on the “time-bound” part.  For my own business goals too, the time-bound part always seemed arbitrary and I rarely achieved them by the time I set – until now! And the secret was that I let go and listened to my intuition.

Last summer, I bought a daily deal site voucher for a one-day video for business course at Pinewood Studios. I just thought it would be fun and didn’t think much of it. Then when I got more information through, I realised I had to write 2 scripts to promote my business. To be honest, I’ve really struggled to explain what I do and you might have noticed my homepage has changed wording frequently as I struggled to find the core of what I’m about and how I help people. So I knew that I needed to put off doing the video course until I had a clearer explanation of what I do. Around December I had the feeling that I was on the verge of discovering what it was that draws everything together. I booked the course for January with a knowing that I would have a much clearer idea by then.

Sure enough at the beginning of January, thanks to synchronistic events (the right books, the right experiences) I found the crux of what I do and what I want to do – teach more people about the unconscious mind. I truly believe that if more people understood how to harness the unconscious mind instead of being its slave, we would live in a different world. We’d draw out solutions to every problem we’re facing – rampant consumerism, inequality, poor distribution of wealth, environmental problems, disease prevention and treatment, and so on. Plus we’d see increased levels of peace, happiness and acceptance as people retrained their minds for greater and greater self esteem and love.

So that magical deadline of January 13th helped get my unconscious mind focused on how to get me ready for my video course and brought the right books and experiences into my life to give me the clarity I needed. I’ve just written and sent off my scripts to be loaded up on the autocue and then on Wednesday, it’s playtime! I’m super excited like a kid waiting to go to Disneyland for the first time!

I don’t think I ever will try to force SMART goals on myself ever again. This whole experience reaffirmed that there is a great wisdom in life and it will speak to us through our intuition and synchronicities – aspects of the unconscious mind. We just have to be ready to receive the guidance consciously as it comes.