Ego Resolutions, Soul Values

Have you set any New Year’s Resolutions? New Year can be time for a fresh start and a time to set resolutions. I don’t know about you, but I always found New Year’s resolutions an uphill struggle. I use the past tense because I don’t set them anymore and actually every day for the past 13 years I’ve sought to improve myself. My latest goal is to let go of trying to improve myself and relax into being more and more authentic every day. In other words, letting go of my ego’s grip on my life and letting the greater me, my soul or essence take over and open up to life.

All that self-improvement had been coming from the part of me that believed I needed fixing because I wasn’t enough. That’s the tricky thing about the ego or self image. We believe there’s something wrong and we need to change it. Healing is actually the process of welcoming home our whole self. All those bits we deem inferior, all those bits we’ve tried to hide from others, well they’re all important and all loveable because they’re who we really are.

It’s a paradox in that on the one hand (from the soul’s perspective) it’s a simple shift of awareness but on the other hand (from the ego’s perspective) it’s a huge shift in perspective and threatens the very existence of our egos. Our egos have had such a strong grip over our lives for so long, they’re a hard habit to break. As a baby, we didn’t have an ego that limited us. We were limitless and could learn anything. We had infinite potential, we lived moment by moment mindfully and just knew that life would look after us. Then our left brains started developing and we started learning limits and divisions and created beliefs about how the world was and how bad we were. For most of us, our flaws were pointed out far more regularly than our strengths ever were and we started believing we weren’t good enough. If only we were different, we’d be good enough. If only we were different, we’d be loveable.

So often New Year’s resolutions come from these stuck ideas held deep in our memories from childhood. We’re setting New Year’s resolutions as a self-improvement project and as a way to bring more love and admiration from others. The only person who can give us all the love and admiration that will sustain us for a lifetime is ourselves.

Contrast Self-improvement resolutions with Soul Value Goals where you strive to live each day in alignment with the values of your soul. It’s a return to your true essence and standing in your unique truth each day. On appearance, it might seem like a self-improvement project but the difference is that from a place of self-love, you gradually remember that you are always supported by a friendly universe and that you’re always connected to a divine intelligence that is a pure energy permeating all that is. From this place you know that your thoughts are powerful shapers of your reality because everything we see around us started as a thought in someone’s mind. The more you cultivate self-love, the more you can sustain this way of being. Your strongest values are the very essence of who you are and you do your best to live them each day.

This is all quite complex and confusing to the left hemisphere and to the ego, but our souls feel its truth and know it to be true. Even a baby knows it to be true.

If you’re not yet sure of your own soul values, here are some questions to help you uncover them:

1. Think of someone you greatly admired and respect. What are their values?
2. Who are you when you’re at your best?
3. What would you really love people to describe you as?

To help you, here are some examples of values: love, connection, honesty, integrity, confidence, authenticity, truth, peace, being spiritual, being heart-centred, harmony, creativity, playfulness

I’ll be talking at Horndean Positive Living group on February 11th about connecting with your Inner Child and this is a valuable way to loosen the ego’s grip and live more from your authentic, loving essence 🙂 Do come and join us if you can!

Wishing You A Merry Christmas

It’s Christmas Eve in the evening in Southern England as I write this.  My family in Australia and friends in Japan have already begun Christmas Day.  Well, they don’t really celebrate Christmas in Japan, but it’s still a time to bring loved ones to mind.

Life can be really tough and it can be really amazing.  Whatever kind of year 2015 has been for you, I hope that the wonderful moments shine through and that you have a love and laughter-filled Christmas.

With love

Jacqui xxx

International Peace Day – Here’s to Compassion, Empathy and Forgiveness

Today is UN International Peace Day.

I first heard about Peace Day at a inspiring talk by founder Jeremy Gilley in 2010. It’s such a simple idea – let’s have a day of international ceasefire and nonviolence.  As a healer and deep thinker, I’ve often wondered whether sustainable peace is truly possible. One day of peace is a huge step forward but for those of us living outside war zones, are we actually living in peace? And if not, what does living in peace actually look like?

Well, I don’t think we are truly living in peace yet, but I am optimistic that we can and we will achieve real peace.  I also strongly believe that healing modalities (and particularly ThetaHealing) have a vital role to play in creating true, sustainable peace.  Learning to truly listen to people and see underneath unloving behaviour to the pain and suffering causing it – these are important shifts humanity needs to create a truly peaceful world.

The story of Jo Berry and Pat Magee illustrates this beautifully.  A few years ago,  I went to a talk at Winchester University by Jo Berry and Pat Magee and it touched me deeply.  Jo Berry’s father was killed in the IRA Brighton bombing and Pat Magee was the bomber.  They now work together to teach people how to heal deep-seated problems through dialogue.

While Pat Magee admits that violence is unacceptable and regrets his action, he has useful insights on what led him to do such an awful thing.  He raises the important point that people who feel they have no voice are prone to resorting to any means possible to be heard.  And Jo Berry is an incredible example of the power of listening for the roots of violence.  This quote by former hostage Terry Waite from their website sums up the power of the work they do and the power of empathy and seeing each others’ humanity:

To be a subject of a grievous wrong is always wounding and painful and can frequently provoke anger.

However, anger, if allowed to fester is like a cancer of the soul. It does more harm to those who hold it than against those whom it is held.

Jo Berry knows from personal experience what it is to have to face deep suffering as her father was blown up in a IRA bomb. She has let go of personal need for revenge and empathised with Patrick Magee, the man responsible for planting the bomb.

To hear her speak alongside the one who killed her father is a living demonstration of the transforming power of reconciliation when two people who have been on different sides truly listen and can see each other’s humanity, an example this sad world so desperately need.
Terry Waite CBE – humanitarian and former hostage

Their website is available here:

But it’s not just outward violence that we need to tackle.  Too many feel unseen and insignificant and direct their anger inwards.  People who work with young people are all too aware of how much more common self harm and depression have become in recent years.

For many years, I made it my goal to cultivate compassion and understanding for those suffering.  I’m extremely grateful to have gained deep insights into this through my work with troubled young people.  Some had long criminal records, some had difficulty attending college and keeping up with their work, some would blurt out really awful words, but often when you looked a bit deeper and knew their backgrounds, it was understandable why they were so desperate to be seen.

Collectively, we are facing many problems but I am optimistic about our chances.  Healing modalities are becoming more and more widely accepted and practiced and of course, the work of people such as Jo Berry and Pat Magee show us that compassion, empathy and forgiveness can cause great shifts.

It’s not easy to look below the surface and look for the underlying causes, but more and more people are understanding the need to be conscious of what’s driving our behaviour and to look beyond appearances to the inner conflicts that can skew behaviour.

So I hope Peace Day 2015 has been a day of peace for you and I hope that you have plenty of people in your life who really see you ♡


Hypnotherapy – Dispelling the top 10 myths

Hypnotherapy is a wonderful modality for helping to create positive, permanent change.  I’ve had it myself and it really helped me to leave the past behind and focus on creating a much, much better future.  But while hypnotherapy could help many more people, so many are stuck in fear of it.  In this guest post, the fabulous Tina from Hypnotherapy1 for Health and Happiness helps explain the truth of hypnotherapy and busts the most common myths about it.


Myth #1 The hypnotherapist will be able to control my mind

Fact: No-one can control your mind. Your hypnotherapist will be the catalyst to the changes you wish to make. You will be given suggestions only based on the pre-hypnotic discussion and agreement. At no point during your session will you lose control of your mind. If you hear a suggestion that you don’t agree with, or don’t understand, your subconscious mind will automatically reject it.


Myth #2 I will be made to perform embarrassing acts, such as bark like a dog, or walk like a duck

Fact: This assumption is based on stage hypnotism and Hollywood fiction. The truth is, these people volunteer to act on stage, and they allow themselves to participate in silly suggestions. Hypnotherapy is a serious process of self-improvement, not entertainment.


Myth#3 Hypnosis comes from “Black Magic” or is “Supernatural”

Fact: Hypnosis is a natural state that has been studied scientifically. Hypnotherapists are not psychics or palm readers with “special powers”. Hypnotherapy is based on many years of clinical research by famous psychologists such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, and more recently, by Milton Erikson, John Kappas and Richard Bandler.


Myth #4 If I become hypnotized, I may not be able to snap out of it, or hypnotherapy is dangerous

Fact: Hypnotherapy is very safe, and is in fact a state of hyper-awareness or higher-awareness. Any time there is an emergency, a person would naturally be able to come out of the hypnotic state very simply by opening their eyes and stretching or speaking.


Myth #5 I have never been in hypnosis before – what it if doesn’t work?

Fact: Every person naturally enters a state of hypnosis at least twice every day: just before falling asleep at night, and upon awakening every morning, before getting out of bed. Most people easily enter ‘Environmental Hypnosis’ while at the movies, watching television, driving on the motorway or while reading a good book.


Myth #6 Hypnosis is a “Miracle Cure”

Fact: While hypnotherapy is a highly-effective, relatively quick method of making permanent improvements to one’s life, there is no such thing as a one-time “Hypno-Miracle”! Every individual makes progress at his or her own rate. In my experience, each session will take 2-3 days to process in the mind.


Myth #7 Hypnosis is a great tool to get someone to “confess”

Fact: Hypnotherapy sessions are kept completely private and confidential and cannot be used for court evidence/testimony. It is not an alternative to lie detector tests. Hypnotherapy cannot force anyone to “tell the truth” or to confess.


Myth #8 When hypnotized, I will lose all sense of my surroundings, and will have no memory of the session

Fact: Hypnotherapy is not an unconscious state of sleep. In fact, most people report having a heightened sense of awareness, concentration and focus, and can even hear more acutely during a session.


Myth #9 Self-hypnosis is safer, better or more effective than going to a trained professional

Fact: Self-hypnosis can be detrimental when not taught by a trained professional, as a negative attitude or belief about oneself will be reinforced regardless of suggestions given. This can cause more stress and problems in the long run. Hypnotherapy directly accesses the subconscious mind, while self-hypnosis cannot.


Myth #10 I can’t be hypnotized because my mind is too strong/disciplined

Fact: This is an archaic belief that has, in recent times, been proven untrue. It was thought, long ago, that only 50% of the population could be hypnotized. Over the last 40 years, hypnotherapeutic specialists have developed methods to induce hypnosis in 100% of the population. During your first session, we utilize these methods to determine what type of suggestibility you have, and hence, how to hypnotize you.


It is your decision to use hypnotherapy for self-improvement. I will do my best to serve you in the most efficient and enjoyable way possible.


Tina Heath

Hypnotherapy1 for Health and Happiness


The Soulful Wisdom of Marianne Williamson

“We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present.”
― Marianne Williamson

I was googling Marianne Williamson quotes to share with a client and I found a page of wonderful quotes by her.  There are so many soul-reaching quotes from her that it was difficult to choose just one to go here.  I couldn’t find the actual one I was looking for (it was a quote about people either reaching out for love or expressing love in their actions) but there was so much inspiring wisdom in the quotes I did find, that I didn’t need that one.

Here is the page of quotes if you fancy a bit more of her inspiration:



The Power of Thoughts and Emotions

The more I study the brain and the mind, the more I realise how powerful thoughts and emotions are. This article is a lovely example of how re-training and redirecting our thoughts can make positive changes to how we process life.  As this article shows, the brain can be rewired to cope better with emotions and work with them regardless of previous experiences.  I think this article is a ray of hope that we can help people overcome anything if we can help them control their thoughts.

At the moment, I’m reading “The Trauma of Everyday Life” which is written by a psychiatrist discussing Buddhist ideas and how they can be integrated to help patients.  Just last night I was struck by the following Buddhist quote in the book:

The mind is restless

To control it is good

A disciplined mind is the road to Nirvana

I find it fascinating that scientific research like the article above and Buddhist philosophy are finding common ground – controlling the mind can help us grow, evolve and move beyond problems.

Gaining control of our own mind is no easy task, because most of what it contains is unconscious.  But tools that can get the conscious and unconscious minds working together like ThetaHealing, NeuroLinguistic Programming and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy are wonderful ways to begin.

It’s my belief that we really can transform the world by the transforming our inner worlds.  And now, more than ever before we have greater access to the tools to do so.

Debt Blizting!!!!

As some of you may know, I’ve joined Financial Freedom University which was created by The Wealth Chef, Ann Wilson. It has really changed my relationship with money and taught me so much about how our stuck emotions can influence our money story.

So today I was shopping and found a really funky dress in a major department store chain. Lately I’ve been disciplined with my money and only buying things if I would pay cash for them. Credit cards have a nasty habit of making us spend much more than we would otherwise – all those attractive little extras like points and airmiles plus the fact it doesn’t feel like you’re spending money at all! I loved this dress so much and the sale price was so good that I decided I’d be happy to pay cash for it.

But at the till, I was told about some attractive offers if I signed up to get the store credit card. I’m only used to being asked to join loyalty schemes which are pretty harmless and I figured that as I wouldn’t use this card much at all, it would be OK to apply and take advantage of the offers.

BIG MISTAKE! For whatever reason, after half an hour of messing about, I was declined and left with a black mark on my credit record. I was annoyed with myself for not sticking to my original plan to pay with “real” money and I was really annoyed with the store for trying to push a credit card with an appalling interest rate on customers and profit from more debt creation. I learned my lesson big time and will never again apply for a credit card on the spur of the moment.

Of course I wouldn’t be as annoyed if it all went through. But it points to a larger problem. There are big profits to be made from debt and many people’s ignorance in financial matters. I was certainly completely ignorant and buried my head in the sand about finances. Starting my own business forced me to learn about money and getting myself into debt while setting it up, forced me to make big changes to how I use money.

For me, I have turned the anger from this mistake into rocket fuel for my debt blitzing and I am more determined than ever to be debt free ASAP and to be financially free within 10 years.

I’ve done the inner work, now it’s time for the outer action!