There’s a lot of talk in the news about Narcissism. Psychologists and psychiatrists are breaking their usual code of not diagnosing people in the public eye without formal assessment and giving their professional opinion that Donald Trump is a narcissist. And I think he is serving a higher purpose for us. What he’s doing is not pretty and it’s sure to be a rocky ride but I’m confident that we’ll come out wiser, stronger and more united than ever – as long as we can hold on during the bumpy ride.
My own experience with a narcissist was bumpy to say the least. For years, the shame of having my mind broken by the narcissist’s games was a dark secret I kept hidden. I (naively) thought I was the only one who’d ever fallen into those kinds of games and that no-one would ever believe what happened to me if I told them. To be honest, for years I deeply resented the experience and felt bitter about it. At the time it happened, a bigger, truer part of me knew that something higher was happening, but my ego wasn’t happy. After years of learning and practising healing, studying anything and everything to do with the mind, reflecting, journalling to make sense of it, I finally found the missing piece to my peace. And it was in owning the whole truth of my experience. In other words, it was in being true to myself.
Born with a Soul Vision
I believe we’re born with a blueprint for our lives and that every life has a soul vision and purpose. I believe that on a deep, soul level we agree to certain things happening in our lives so that we can learn what love truly is. I’d like to believe that people who are narcissists and sociopaths have deep soul commitments to play their roles so that others they encounter can learn. Life is one huge classroom and it’s only by looking back and putting the pieces together that we can see the lessons. The rest of the time, it’s a matter of trusting that things are always working out for our highest good despite outward appearances.
Getting to Gratitude
What helped me frame my experience positively was opening up to the ideas of life after death and of the soul reincarnating. I have to admit that the idea of reincarnation did freak me out for a while until I got used to it! The first past life I experienced in meditation was awful (I was an abused wife in Japan who may have stabbed her abusive husband) but it taught me to go beyond my heavily academic, analytical mind to the deeper layers of the unconscious mind where all the juice happens.
Seeing life as a journey for the soul’s evolution helps to bring equality and meaning to the ups and downs of life. Equality because we all have the potential to experience any life conditions to help us learn and grow, and meaning because when we can find the love in any situation (and it may well be hidden deep), we have everything and that’s the ultimate healer.
So I’m glad I met a narcissist because if my mind hadn’t been smashed wide open, I would have remained ignorant of these cool perspectives and life would be all the more poor today. I wouldn’t have the richness of knowing my emotions and the depths of the unconscious mind. I wouldn’t be able to balance and clear energy. I wouldn’t be listening to my soul’s call. I’d be disconnected from my physical body and from my spiritual self. I’d be living in my head, cut off from the richness of experiencing my whole being. The chances are that I’d still be searching outside for something to fill the inner lack.
I would love for you to feel more meaning and purpose in all the events of your life too. Learning is a human superpower and it can transform pain into love and gratitude.
If you’ve experienced narcissism and would like to find more peace through learning too, I’ve developed a programme to help you. It’s called “Pieces to Peace” and if you click here you’ll get the details. If it speaks to your heart, do get in touch with me and we can arrange a discovery tool. My experience happened so I could help you and your experience happened so you could help others too.
Wishing you truth, love and peace