11 Aug Marketing and Power – Raw Writing From 2020
This is a piece that came through on the morning of October 22nd 2020. It’s largely unedited with mistakes. I would love to hear your thoughts on it.
Have you experienced this manipulation?
How do you feel about it?
Feelings of disgust grew as I read the influence techniques. Social proof, scarcity, authority, association, reciprocity – if I give you a gift, you feel obligated to return the favour. Even as I write now, the sense of violation at how many advertisers and marketers had taken over my mind creates shame. Taking advantage of the confusion deep within me to tell me that they had THE solution to my problems. That they knew better what I needed. All those techniques – the heightened state, the happy enthusiasm, the making you say “yes” a lot so it would be hard to say “no” and you’d have to break rapport.
But as I read, I also saw the enormous progress I’d made in being able to say “no” even when it broke rapport and it wasn’t what was expected. In Covent Garden recently, I was offered a small piece of soap and invited into a shop to be pampered. The “I’m giving you a gift, so you owe me” was underlying the exchange (reciprocity). While my finger nailed was buffed to a shine (associating it with feeling good), this lady talked about how wonderful this nail buffer was, how there were these packs of manicure gel, of body lotion, of the nail buff. For today only (scarcity) I could get one pack free and not only that, but their usual price was £45 and I could have £10 off. Wowee!
Except that she’d picked a finger that was sore because I’d injured it and I looked at the super shine nail thinking “yuck – how long will it take for that to go?” But still, I had to break rapport, I had to make it uncomfortable by saying “no”. I chose the classic “I’ll think about it” but my honesty meant that before I left the shop, my real intention came out – I won’t be buying this because I don’t do anything with my nails. Telling the truth without breaking rapport was a relief.
These techniques get used all the time on us, taking us away from our unique paths. They might not be quite as full on as in this story, but even people who claim to be using more ethical selling methods can still be using these techniques on you and not making it clear that they are. The trouble with algorithms on social media is that when you start interacting with the people using these techniques, you get more of the same. Creating an unconscious picture of what it is that you need to do to sell – or at least to sell in that way. For me, it meant living and trying to create my business in a permanent state of confusion. It’s why a lot of us can HATE marketing because it brings to mind manipulating and not fully telling the truth to get people to buy. Ever since Freud’s nephew started manipulating the unconscious to sell more, humanity’s unconscious mind has been manipulated to serve profit makers.
One example of truly ethical, non-manipulative selling that made a big impression on me was Tad Hargrave’s Meantime programme. I read the sales page and clicked the “Buy Now” button to be taken to another “are you sure?” Page. A page with a video from him and text that got me to slow down and really tune into my own intuition about whether this was right for me or not. It wasn’t. Wow. The depth of integrity in that and the depth of respect for me as a potential customer was balm to my sales-weary soul And of course it meant that I was waiting for the perfect opportunity to work with him. I’d felt the power of truly ethical marketing. I had full permission to really listen to my needs and to say “no” from a place of power. This was someone I really wanted to learn from. When I did start working with him, it marked the beginning of truly turning my business around and feeling at peace with it. It might not quite be where I want it to be just yet, but I know it will be.
the bigger picture
My book is called Pieces to Peace and I kept seeing symbols of what Pieces to Peace was trying to show me in my mind’s eye. It was symbolic that I saw 2 balls of light, each made up of lots of pieces. One ball had some of the pieces dominating and taking over the pieces of the other ball. I intuitively knew that this was representing 2 people – one of them dominating the other. I knew that it was telling me we had to stop taking over by others’ minds and if we’re being taken over by others’ minds, to find the pieces inside us letting that happen. We have to be fully, uniquely ourselves and keep our power firmly centred inside our own hearts if we’ve ever going to co-create a truly peaceful world that works for everyone. A world where privilege dissolves and everyone is free to be uniquely themselves without fear of judgment, disapproval or even violence against them.
But it’s more than that. It’s more serious than that. Subtly taking over people is how real evil operates. Evil most definitely exists, but it can be managed and it’s not who we naturally are. It operates in the shadows getting good people to do awful things for it – and often to believe that they’re doing it for higher reasons. The most unspeakable acts are being carried out in the shadows right now – trafficking, abuse, corruption. All have an element of power gone wrong to them. Evil is about hunger for power over others by any means necessary and to inflict harm. Falling victim to authority and stepping back from responsibility are key ways that evil begins to take hold. There’s a fascinating and horrifying TED talk on the Psychology of Evil by Stanford University Professor Philip Zimbardo. In it, he outlines the subtle steps it takes for good people to do evil things. He set up the infamous Stanford Prison Experiment that had to be abandoned part way through.
The experiment was brought to an end by someone strong enough to call out the truth of what was happening – how the power imbalances in it were detrimental to the mental health of everyone involved. It was someone strong enough to go against the group-think and get those who’d set up the experiment to rethink. Someone who restored a balance of power.
Surely marketing and an experiment that touched on evil are miles apart? Surely it’s harmless to use influence techniques if you’re selling something that helps people? Well, there is genius in each psyche. There is unique genius in each person. Each person holds a vital piece that contributes to this bigger puzzle of peacefully living together and fixing all the destruction and manmade suffering on the earth.
According to the teachings of Alice Bailey, right relationship is the key to humanity becoming aware of the plan and for the shift in consciousness needed to see it.
And it makes sense. Persuasion and influence techniques come from a place of mistrusting each other. If I believe that I know better than you what you need in your life, I will try to overpower you into using my way, my methods, my techniques. And if I’m in a position of authority or power, the effects of me believing that I know better are even stronger. But that also means that I’m not listening to you. I’m not hearing your wisdom. I’m not hearing what’s uniquely coming through you. Especially when it comes to marginalised people who live radically different experiences of the world that aren’t yet fully honoured like those who are transgender or neurodivergent, (wheel of privilege). The excellent wheel of privilege shows clearly the types of people who don’t have a voice. Whose psyches are clogged up at the injustice of these imbalances of power.
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